Saturday, March 10, 2012

10 in, 0 out

This is where we start again.

The cops came. Told him to leave. He packed his stuff, and left.

Let me take you to that moment.
Restraining order served, there is no going back.
Is he going to follow the order?
Fear.
Shaking.
Nausea.
I can't go back.
This can't be fixed.
There is no making up now.

The house is empty now, I go in and grab the kids.

The house is a mess.
Food on the floor.
The boys are in diapers, filthy, I can smell them from several feet away.
The youngest is in a very, very dirty diaper.
When was he last changed?

I immediately get them into a bath.
That's when I see them.

My youngest has giant bruises all up and down his back, some on his arm wrapping around, some on his leg.

My baby has been hurt.
I see red again.
I couldn't protect him.




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