911

I did everything I could to calm him down, keep him from getting violent.
I said what I thought he wanted me to say.
I did what I thought he wanted me to do.
Just trying to make it till morning.

In the morning, I was going to leave.

But we didn't make it that far.

The kids saw it all
the attack
him ripping my phone from my hand

there is no 911 for you.


his sneer blazed into my mind.
checkmate.
he had me.

i wrestled free of him
ran half naked down the street to the first neighbor who would answer the door

the police came

he was going to take the kids
he said i would never find him
he said i would never see them again alive
if i left.

the police had been out three times.
they were impatient with us

they told me to leave
because he couldn't drive
they wouldn't let me take the kids
because they had been disrupted enough

i begged
begged
begged
them to let me take the kids

the female officer
off the record. you take the car seats. i can't help you, but you take those car seats so he can't take those babies till morning.


I took the car seats, kissed them goodbye and drove away. I didn't know if I would ever see them again.